I read an article today about a woman who ran her car off a pier after getting into a "domestic dispute" with her husband. They pulled her minivan out of the water an hour later, with her body and the bodies of her three young children still trapped inside. While what happened to those children is terrible, it's not them that gets to me. Nor is it the father, who no doubt blames himself and who has to deal with losing his family. Although I have some sympathy for the woman, who conceived her first child at 14, she also killed her children, and therefore looses most of her sympathy points. 

The one I feel for is the other child. The oldest at ten years, he pulled himself out of the car and ran for help. At ten years old, to have to have your mother try to kill you, to have to flee, leaving your family behind, to lose 3 siblings and a parent in one swift moment. To spend the rest of your life dealing with the implications, that is what gets me.

I wish him the strength to move forward, and to become a stronger person then his parents.

When I heard this, I thought to myself that the next time I heard some one bitching about how terrible their life was, I would tell them this story. I didn't realize at the time that that person would be me. (The first draft of this post was quite negative)

And really, my life isn't so terrible. My parents have never tried to kill me. Although my relationships with them could be more positive, I have most of my family somewhat in my life. Sometimes I wish I was alone, but I should appreciate the fact that I have people who want to live with me, and who make me accountable. Without them there would be no one to keep me in check and I probably wouldn't be here to write this.

My problems are my own responsibility and my own fault and it is up to me to fix them. No one is going to do it for me. More importantly, no one should.

I'll probably be back for more bitching tomorrow, and all this grand talk rarely translates to effective action, but it's nice to think about.