And to many people to be. I have forgotten myself.

I spend more time on this email account and one other, leaving my "normal" account piled up for days, coupons I can't afford and correspondence I can't bring myself to reply to.

I'm so motivated, but translating that motivation into action has always been the hard part. It's like I can't do everything. Something always falls by the side. I'm gearing up to start a new job this weekend that will bring in a lot more income, and because of that my eating falls by the wayside. Even though I eat almost nothing, its all crap. A handful of chips, grabbed absent-mindedly from the bag  as my focus is on the computer, panic setting in  as the fragrant orange residue sticks to my fingers. I can't eat them, but I can't put them back either in a room full of people either, so I eat them anyways. They are knock offs and too salty and I hate myself more.

But today is a new day, so I'm not going to beat myself up over it any more. I'm limiting myself to one sandwich, so I can eat in front of the housemates and then that's it. If I get hungry later, I exercise or do something on my list or take a sleeping pill.

My list is going well, more on that later.