1. Sort the desk
2. Empty all boxes in the bedroom
3. Clean something every other day for a month
4. Spend one hour a week improving memory

Done now. :) Cleaning up after myself is officially a habit again. I don't really think my memory is any better honestly, but I think if I were serious about seeing results I would have have to commit a lot more time to it then an hour a week. And quit smoking pot.


There are also a bunch which I've started, but can't cross off yet, either because I have to do them repeatedly over a period of time or because (more likely) I've started them but haven't got 'round to finishing them yet.

Like seriously. Yesterday was the hottest day that we have ever had here. Like on record. You go outside and it's like entering an oven. At the hottest, it was 39 degrees Celsius and it felt like 50 with the humidity. (102 degrees and it felt like 122 for you Americans)

All you can do it lie there and try not to move because moving makes you want to puke.

Things have been going really well at work, but part of me is scared that I'm going to fuck it up. I'm scared that I won't be able to keep up as it gets busier, and now that my boss likes me it means the pressure is really on to be perfect.

I've been feeling really overwhelmed for the last couple of days. I should have gotten my ID ages ago and I kept putting it off. Now my work needs it and I don't have it to give them. Now I'm paying for my own laziness and stupidity.

I feel like I'm spread so thin. Go to work, find a career, find a school, clean the house, see your family, stay in touch with friends, find a new apartment, exercise, lose weight, change your body, change your mind, change your life... It doesn't seem like much but there are so many little tasks to keep it all together. I'm always forgetting something. I can't keep my priorities in order. I can't figure out what to do and I feel like I'm never accomplishing enough.

Sometimes I feel like I'm losing my mind. I'm building a card house and as soon as I try to build the next level everything falls out from underneath me and I need to start over again. and again. and again.

I'm not moving until October instead of September now. It means more time to prepare but also another month with Exboy. I don't know how I feel about it but there's nothing I can do about it so it doesn't matter anyways.

Mich: I'm glad I'm not the only one who loves them. My boss made fun of me after my martial arts class because as soon as we were done I lit up a smoke.

In honor of my all consuming need to smoke here are a ridiculous amount of pretty people smoking. Because smoking makes you look hot, especially in black and white.

Seriously addicted. Don't start smoking people. Within 10 minutes of waking up, if there is no nicotine to shove in my face I will be filled with blinding rage at basically whoever dares speak to me. Also I can't really poo. How's that for laxative abuse?

On a separate note, I refuse to continue to buy low fat cream cheese. If I wanted plastic on my bagel, I'd cut up a plastic bag, put it on my sandwich and be done with it. Otherwise, I'll just eat full fat cream cheese half as often. The low fat shit is fine if its going in a sauce or something, but seriously what is with that weird texture when you eat it on its own?

I'm finally back down to 144.6 today. Only one pound left to undo my three day bingefest.

OCDboy is totally down for getting back in shape, so I'm going to get him to show me so things I can do to work out more. Hopefully that will be more motivating then doing it on my own. I'm also supposed to be going to a self defense class with my boss today so that should burn some cals as well.

I also picked up a bunch of 150 cal tuna steaks that are ready in the microwave in 30 seconds that I can have as snacks when I munch out in the evenings. They are delicious and give me lots of energy and I love them. You should consider eating them yourself, if they sell them where you are and you're into that sort of thing.