reality check
Posted by EmptyShell | Posted in | Posted on Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Three days. That's all it took.
Three days of shameless consumption
Three days of uncountable calories (ok, an average of about 3000)
Three days of shoving food down my throat because if I'm eating I'm not talking and if I'm not talking I'm not arguing.
Three days where I figured it was better to hate myself for eating than just hate myself.
When I got on the scale yesterday it was a reality check. 149.6. Not even a pound away from 150, a place I told my self I had seen the back of forever. Being at my mothers made me cocky. If I could maintain there then it didn't matter what I ate. But that's not the case. It's a slippery slope and I can't let my emotions dictate my eating habits any more. I can't go back to what I was. I need to move forward.
I want beauty and perfection so bad I can taste it.
It tastes way fucking better then cookies.
Today I weighed in at 147. It's a new day, and I will be better today then I was yesterday and better tomorrow then I am today.
americaneagle: After reading your blog I have been inspired to spend more time replying to comments in my posts. It's fitting then that you were the last person to comment on my blog. I know exactly what you mean about food being celebrated just as thinness is aspired to. Thank you for your awesome comments and I'm glad you found me!
Three days of shameless consumption
Three days of uncountable calories (ok, an average of about 3000)
Three days of shoving food down my throat because if I'm eating I'm not talking and if I'm not talking I'm not arguing.
Three days where I figured it was better to hate myself for eating than just hate myself.
When I got on the scale yesterday it was a reality check. 149.6. Not even a pound away from 150, a place I told my self I had seen the back of forever. Being at my mothers made me cocky. If I could maintain there then it didn't matter what I ate. But that's not the case. It's a slippery slope and I can't let my emotions dictate my eating habits any more. I can't go back to what I was. I need to move forward.
I want beauty and perfection so bad I can taste it.
It tastes way fucking better then cookies.
Today I weighed in at 147. It's a new day, and I will be better today then I was yesterday and better tomorrow then I am today.
americaneagle: After reading your blog I have been inspired to spend more time replying to comments in my posts. It's fitting then that you were the last person to comment on my blog. I know exactly what you mean about food being celebrated just as thinness is aspired to. Thank you for your awesome comments and I'm glad you found me!
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