Also, when I spontaneously woke up this morning at 8AM for no reason, which never happens, I swear I could hear my computer start up (it's very loud) and some one moving around, but after I found pants and went to the bathroom, I came out and there was no one out here. A couple of minutes later, the beeping started. I knocked on the door but there was no answer. 

I don't like it. 

I don't like it at all. 

Had a good week at work this week though, quite productive. The last couple days at home have kind of sucked though. Exboy and I have gotten through the fighting stage of our fight, and the him being moody phase (probably my least favorite) and are well into the "everything's back to normal" stage. The reason for the quotes there is that I still have to listen to all the passive aggressive comments about how I secretly want to be with OCDboy, then hear the "I was only joking" speech every time I don't have some magical perfect reaction that I haven't figured out yet. Most of the time I just refuse to answer comments like that at all, better that then risk looking guilty in his eyes. 

Speaking of OCDboy, he's no where to be found. Went for a walk 3 days ago, came home for a couple of hours yesterday while I was at work and then took off again before I got home. It's making exboy speculate like crazy, since obviously he didn't really go for a 30 hour walk. 

Foodwise, I continue to do well during the day and then ruin it all with a ridiculous binge in the evening, like eating anything could fill the void. Last night I killed a footlong subway sandwich and a bag of kettle cooked lays. Couldn't even sleep I was in so much pain. I literally felt like my stomach was about to explode and seriously considered purging, if only to end the discomfort. Someone tell me I can do better then this please?

I can't bring myself to get on the scale.