I cheated today. Not on my ex, although  it certainly feels like it whenever I dare hit on someone else, but on the whole eating vegetarian thing. I've been in a losing battle with McDonald's for three days now, and my willpower finally broke today. Bah.

It wasn't as good as it was in my head, but is it ever? (except for thai food and sushi)

So now I'm at 774 utterly useless calories for the day, I'm a big weak fatty and I hate myself. My stomach hurts and I'm not even really full, just nauseous.

On the plus side I got out of work early today, so I'm going to try to spend some time being  productive to make myself feel better...

Still at 153.6 today.

Clean something for 30min every other day for a month. (week 1/4)
As part of my birthday present, the housemates all chipped in and cleaned the house this week so I wouldn't have to, so it was out of my hands really, at least that is what I'm telling myself. I'm going to try to get the whole hour and a half of cleaning done today because I have the day off, so we will see how that goes.
Exercise 3 times a week for at least half an hour. (3/4)
4 hours of dancing and 6 or so hours of manic laughter? Yea, that should just about cover it. Last week for this one!

Do Laundry twice a month for 6 months (0/12)
Done! Well, I did a load. This is another one on my list of things to do today, although it depends on how much cleaning I get done.

Track all spending for one month. 
My spending was a mess this week because of my birthday, so I didn't bother restarting this one yet.

File taxes. 
Look up the address for the place, it's by appointment only, so add another thing to the list of boring crap to get done today...
Spend one hour a week improving memory for a month 2/4
Actually kind of forgot about this one this week, so apparently its not helping yet...
Draw once a month.(0/12)
Last chance to do this one for the month...
Start a dream journal and update it twice a week for a month
This has been the week of people waking me up abruptly and making me do things right away, so nothing to report here...

Eat Veggie for a month (2/4 weeks)
This one is going really well. I really don't miss meat at all when I know I'm going to have the chance to eat it at the end of the week. I think when I'm done I'll definitely eat red meat much less often, although I still don't think I could give it up altogether. 

Research Careers
I'm going to use the interesting careers from my personality profile as a starting point for my search. Hopefully this will give me some direction.

Contact 5 friends I haven't seen in over a year and see them in person (2/5)
I think my recent birthday will be an excellent excuse to get back in touch with some of the people who had nice wishes for me on facebook. That way, I don't have to feel a weird about making contact.
Become an organ donor
Found out what I need and I can do it all when I go to replace my health card, which I've been procrastinating about for ages.


I'm really excited, it looks like I might be able to cross some things off my list next week! This week was really lazy though... Oh well, I was expecting to get less done anyways. At least so far I've maintained between 151 and 153...

I was lazy at work today, and now I'm disappointed in myself. I have all these great intentions, yet somehow I can never accomplish most of what I set out to do. I tell myself I will go to bed early, and 5AM rolls around and I'm wide awake. I tell myself I will wake up early and be productive, and I sleep 'til the last possible minute, or I wake up and laze around the house, smoking up and watching bad television until its time for work. I eat nothing at work, return home and my resolve dissolves. I just don't know. My weight is maintaining at 151.6. As long as I can stop eating now, it will probably be the same tomorrow. I hope.

It's like I can clearly see the course of action that I need to take to get to a better life, but I'm paralysed, terrified of the unknown.

I did finish one thing today. It's my birthday next week, and I just finished making my wishlist for my mother. I realized this year that she only ever buys things from the shopping channel anyway's, so I might as well go to their site and make my wishlist from there. It hurts me to do it though, the mark up on most of it is ridiculous.

Speaking of my birthday, I'm not sure how I feel about that. It's been really crap the last few years, some worse then others, but forgettable at best. I'm trying not to get my hopes up that anything will be different this year. Exboy has this speech he goes through about a month and a half before my birthday about how everything is going to be different this year, and now it just makes me kinda sad.

I also feel old. Does anyone else feel like they are missing out on something?

Clean something for 30min every other day for a month. (week 1/4)
This one was a write off this week, I did some cleaning at work, but I just didn't have the motivation to do anything else when I got home and then the weekend I was out and sketchy.
Exercise 3 times a week for at least half an hour. (2/4)
This went really well this week, I'm learning to grapple once a week, so I did that for about 40 minutes one day, and they I went for a 2 hour walk/hike on Saturday morning. I also spent some time dancing Saturday night.
Do Laundry twice a month for 6 months (0/12)
I mentioned I hate Laundry, right? But seriously, I'm almost out of clean clothes.

Create and follow a debt payment plan focusing on student loans.
I'm officially taking this off for a couple weeks, I'll come back for it later.
Track all spending for one month. 
I did this one for about 2 weeks, but I'm actually going to start it over, so that I can go for a month straight.

File taxes. 
So I went to the late tax place and they told me that they couldn't set me up an appointment until I called the Canada Revenue Agency and got them to mail me all my old t4's and such. I called the CRA and they told me that they couldn't release the information to me because I have never filed before. I need to go into my local office, so my goal this week is to do that. Also the late tax place is going to charge me like 300-400 bucks so I need to figure that out too. Sorry if this didn't make any sense to every one not from Canada.
Spend one hour a week improving memory for a month 2/4
Did some memory games, also we are doing tests with the roommates to improve memory.

Draw once a month.(0/12)
Going to try to get this one done this week. 

Start a dream journal and update it twice a week for a month
I haven't really remembered any of my dreams, and I've been rushing to get up and get ready for work this week, so not much was done on this one.


New Additions


Eat Veggie for a month (1/4 weeks)
I'll be honest. It's really veggie light. Fish is ok, and once a week we are eating meat. However the bestie and and I are ending it in a three day juice fast.


Research Careers
I'm not sure how I'm going to go about this yet, so my goal for this week is to figure that out.


Contact 5 friends I haven't seen in over a year and see them in person (2/5)
I've actually seen three people I haven't seen in over a year this week, but two of them were a happy accident at the party on the weekend, so they only got a half point each.


Become an organ donor
My goal for this week is to find out what I need to do to become a donor.

And it draws way too much attention to look for them.

I ended up giving in and having a bowl of chips and a pop at like 5 in the morning last night. On the positive side,  I stuck to the serving size, and didn't go back for more. On the downside it put my total at 1700 for the day, which is just painful to look at. And it ruined my streak. And I gained A POUND. Damn it.

At least today's an exercise day, so I can feel like I'm doing something about it.

More to come later, but for now, pretty skinny ladies.

This one is my favourite of the 10. She is super inspiring to me for some reason.

So I'm back. Finally.

I've decided that this blog and my life both need more structure, so I've set up goals based on the dayzeroproject website. Basically I have 102 goals to accomplish within the next 1001 days. Check out the pages to see what my goals are and the post below to see which ones I'm tackling this month.

Things were stressful, then they weren't, then they were much more stressful. But it's too much to get into. They are moderately more calm at the moment, so lets just start fresh here, m'kay? Everything you need to know at the moment about the people I live with is on the housemates page, and I'll let you know more if needed.

Food wise, I climbed back up to close to 160, then got back on track. I have not binged in 8 days, and lost 4lbs, putting my current weight at 154.6 My measurements page will be updated when I get a few minutes to be obsessive with the tape measure. I haven't gone about 1200cals in a week and a half and at least half the time I'm under 900 as well. Not quite low enough but getting there. There are chips in the kitchen calling my name, but I will be strong.

I did an hour of cleaning today, put my dream journal beside my bed, and I'll brush and floss before bed. Mouthwash will have to wait a couple days.

The next post will have pretty ladies in it, but I'm too tired now.